Just a shadow against the rainy sky, facing the endless sea. The wind and spray lash across, there i stand at a place where i have made friends.



Friends Forver

Happy Birthday!!!

I clearly remembered the 25th of February 2004, It was the eve of one of the most important days in my life back then. For on 26th Of February, we all celebrated our dear Anu's birthday. For three years, 6 people formed such a bond, that it was virtually unbreakable. We had our share of fights, we had our share of laughs, and road trips.

Anu, Ramya, Lakshman, Rakesh and Harsha. These guys made my entire world. Anu, more so than the others. It was a time for planning, for pleasant surprises and quiet getways to silent cozy places or for long drives, for the two of us.

Three years of pure bliss and an illusion that it would last forever. In pain, it might have left me. But the memories are still sweet. The laughter still ringing in my ears, the good times we've had, the good spirit that was there, the love that was all over are still fresh in the minds eye.

Things have come to pass, and thing will never be the same again, but good times remain good times and sweet memories are forever. And she will remain my first love. And she will always command the same respect.

This is for you Anu.

I know you wouldnt want me to call you, but what the heck, you cannot stop me from wishing you all the best...


HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY ANU!!!

The Guy Who Couldnt

There was a guy, whom a lot of people ridiculed, when i was in school, Back then. He never gave it a thought, he never cared.

"It is because", people said, "he is just plain dumb"

He was the guy who couldn't speak on stage
He was the guy who coulnd't speak english
He was the guy who could never get a girl
He was the guy who could never approach a girl
He was the guy who could never be at ease
He was the guy who could never be intelligent
He was the guy who could never come on top
He was the guy who could never organize anything
He was the guy who could never be in sports

To top it all,

He was the guy who was never given a chance and
He was the guy who who could never stand up and grab at it
He was the guy who couldnt, because he is short
He was the guy who wouldnt be remembered after school..
He was the guy who didn't, wouldn't and couldnt ............ EVER.

That was then, and this is now. Times change, people change.

The guy who could never, now has the last laugh.

Last laugh, not because he didnt get the joke, but because, all of a sudden, he was the guy who could never..

Never fail to do it.

He was the guy, without ever uttering a word, and never giving it a thought, just went ahead and proved that 'Never' is indeed a very long time.

Never?

When....

When, you have a totally bored 23 year old who thinks he is 6, added with lots of brooding time, and an enticingly bald grandfather with the capacity to sleep, while sitting up...

This is what you get.




Ingredients:


1 Bald Grandfather who can sleep sitting up
1 plastic watch holder
2 cm double sided tape
1 Digital Camera
1 set of parents and relatives who egg you on to go ahead and just do it.

Dedicated to....

It has been another long gap between posts, and it has been a time of brooding, pondering and just whiling it away, while trying desperately to make some money off an idea which everyone seems to absolutely love but no one is willing to chance it out. Everyday is a roller coaster ride. Some highs, some lows and some thrills, but the bottom line is that, the ride always ends at ground zero.

I would be branded a liar if I say that I was not at all depressed. Even for a perennially optimistic soul like me, trying to survive a week on a budget of hundred rupees becomes a daunting prospect – especially if the situation stretches like one of those unbearably plastic soaps on telly.

It is time like these, that I really feel the need for a shoulder to just lean on, sigh and sometimes rant nonsense, just to make me feel lighter, better and cheerful. And I must say that in this, some friends offer, softer, and more comfortable shoulders than the others. It was in precisely a moment like this, when the complete meaning of the statement – “sometimes, help comes from the most unexpected of quarters.” struck me.

Though the help this time was not from wholly unexpected quarters, it was timely, and the shoulders were the most comfortable ones that I have ever been on. Coming from a guy like me, it is like an assured testimonial that can be interpreted as – “These are the shoulders, that can make a snowball’s chance in hell, look like the business class seat of british airways and also make sure that it actually is that way.

I don’t know how it would have been without them, and nor would I want to imagine. It is after a very long time that I am feeling that there are yet people on the planet that can be blindly trusted, even though your sight hasn’t met theirs.

For me, the find has been a precious gem, in fact, it is three precious gems, and ones which I wouldn’t want to lose, ever.

This is my sincere thanks to those people who, make help me find the corners of a circle and who make rotten days seem extra-ordinary, who dry tears, who lift me up, each and every time, without ever complaining, who above all are just there, steady, smiling and knocking on the hearts door, every time they make an entry. If ever, my prayers were answered, it is now.

Beyond this, words fail. I am just deeply honoured.

It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.

Last Morning when i got up from bed, it was with an overwhelming sense of pride accompanied by a vague sense of fear. It is only on rare occasions that i wake up tasting fear.

It was 26th January and the worlds largest democracy celebrated one more year of its Republic. I have always been extremely proud of India and personally, i feel that i have every reason to be so.

I have worked at a lot of places in India, met a lot of people and seen a lot of things and a lot of other things going wrong, which, incidentally included being in Ahmadabad during the aftermath of the Godhra Massacre.

Agreed that people were barbaric, and the whole thing was most probably, politically manged and people sometimes just don't think for themselves, but for all this, there are always incidents that makes the spirit of democracy, of compassion just shine. Where my friends and I lived in Ahmadabad was a predominantly muslim area and everyone was scared for their lives – people didnt lose their sense of fraternity. Three of my friends risking their lives moved a muslim friend to the airport and then to Bombay in a special flight – driving right through the most insecure of areas, and then coming back in one piece. If nothing else, it stands as something of a lesson in paradoxes existing in the most extreme of situations.

And then there is this sense of belonging. Being born here to extremely patriotic parents, having lived here and having interacted with so many people from different lands and after hearing so many thins about my very diverse mother lands, the love and the passion for this soil can only increase. I have met French people who told me that this place was something like to which they have never been. I have had Americans who have never been out of the US in their entire lives come here and fall instantly in love with this place.

Agreed that there might be places like these elsewhere in the world too, but for me, this is the one place with which i have fallen in love, and one place which i will cherish, love and look to be in for the rest of my life, for good or for the worse. This is My India, and I love it, for all it faults, for all its shortcomings. For me India is 'we the people'.

Thinking all this leaves me with a sense of pride and belonging, but looking at the future, there is this sense of fear and apprehension that shrouds a veil of mist over a potentially bright tomorrow. I have been in enough places, hostile and friendly to be sure that i can thrive anywhere, but coming to a cross-roads in life where leaving the country seems the only option that i can take, i cannot but be afraid.

Leaving the soil, to someplace new, someplace unknown and to someplace unchartered, has always been a source of immense anticipation and overflowing enthusiasm for the traveler in me. But the feet lifting off the home soil, for an unknown period of time, to eke out a living in a place far away from the familiar faces, from familiar places, from the sights and sounds of India seems a daunting prospect.

Many have done it before with no extreme side effects, barring money , for me, it remains a challenge, of which i am unsure of, and a challenge which i am not able to take one with full vigor, even with the complete understanding that it is somewhere in cowboy land where my future lies....

PS: The Title is taken from the movie Finding Nemo

How deep is it anyway ?

This thing probably starts off on a pretty innocent note, but of late, the noe has been growing so strong that, the note which was just a small whimper, has now grown into an irritatin noise at the back of my head. It is so irritating, that it is making me want break some good sized pots over those peoples heads.

I guess, the problem with people is that they just dont understand, cant understand or just plain, refuse to understand.

Agreed that nature might have built us this way and that these are instincs that have been passed on to ensure the survival of the fittest, but, even after so much evolution, it is sad to see people behaving the same neanderthal way.

As far back as i can remember, i have always been more comfortable talking to girls, than i was talking to guys. But fortunately, I have been blessed with amazing friends in the form of guys and some very good looking 'partners' (albeit temporary) in the form of girls, which made me the object of envy and of course utter surprise, (how can a guy like this, get a girl like, that??) of a lot of guys.

Thru all the envy, and surprise, the mention of a new female name to my guy friends drew one question, and it was and in most cases still is the first question - "how does she look?"

Now, back then, when we were kids and ANil Kapoor was young, it was understandable that we were fascinated by beauty, and how high above the knee a girl's skirt was going, and the question was ofcourse natural. And even now, going around town with a
ravishingly beautful girl is something to boot, the equations do change a little.

Over time, age and experience, i have learnt that, beauty is the morst important factor for a guy to take a second look at a girl, in a crowd, but i have also realised that it is the stupidest bench mark to decide upon whether or not to talk to a girl (or for that matter even a guy).

With the expansion of my social circle - I realised that there was more to a person than what jeans he was wearing, or how high her skirt actually is, i progressed a little further and realised a vital thing called a smile, and then went on further
pretty quickly) and realised that there is someother thing called knowledge and the most basic thing - good, plain, old common sense.

And I have also realised that it is these traits (apart from a lot of others like compassion etc, etc) which makes a person actually like another person. And the fact that the people whom i have been friends for, for more than 20 years have drifted off solely due to lack of common sense and basic understanding of values - just goes ahead to prove the point.

Now, getting back to the point - I still wonder, do we still need the question

How does she look?


(.... to be concluded)